Mr. Pryor: Oh hai. Gundy: I want to talk about this young man right here. P: Aw, shucks Mr. Gundy! MG: If anybody hasn't seen this guy. I didn't see him. P: GASP MG: He was brought to me by a genie. Of football. P: Genies are against abortion. I have no stance on this issue. MG: Let me tell you why I'm talking about Terrelle. 3/4 of him is full of no. P: I don't know about that... MG: He's fiction. P: NO NO NO. I'm real, doo! MG: This child embarresses me to be involved with players who don't consider my school. P: Why, may I ask? MG: This child, had to have been birthed by a parent who has no chidren. AND HAS NEVER HAD A TALENTED RECRUIT THAT HAS BROKEN MANY HEARTS AND COME HOME BORED P: I have homework that I probably don't do. MG: AND HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS CHILD, WHEN HE IS A STAR. P: I'm not a star yet, you sponduferous cantankler of titanic proportions! MG: AND KICK A PERSON WHEN HE IS DOWN P: That is quite mean, Mr. Mike Gundy. MG: THIS IS ALL THIS KID DID: HE PROBABLY WENT TO CLASS, HE IS DISRESPECTFUL TO THE MEDIA. P: Everyone needed to know I can't decide! MG: HE IS DISRESEPCTFUL TO THE MICHIGAN STATE CROWD. P: Oh, but 'twas all in good fun. MG: AND HE IS A BLACK KID. P: I am indeed. MG: And he is not yet a college player, so he doesn't deserve his cookies before bed time. P: You monster! MG: If you meet Pryor some day, you'll understand how it feels. Because you obviously don't get to meet him. P: I am quite busy! Busy like a bee! MG: I do P: Just this once. MG: TERRELLE PRYOR GOES DOWN THE STREET P: I run on the sidewalk like a normal human being. MG: AND SOMEONE TELLS HIM HIS TEAM STOLE KANSAS'S LOGO P: Entirely my fault. I apologize. MG: OR SAYS HE'S FAT P: I weigh a weight! MG: AND HE COMES HOME CRYING TO HIS LUCKY MOUSE PAD. P: WHO TOLD YOU? MG: You'd understand. P: That doesn't explain how you know about my lucky mouse pad. MG: Mumbles P: NO MG: Someday you will P: Highly unlikly. MG: And when Terrelle comes home, you'd understand. P: Changing the tense is no! MG: IF YOU WANT TO SIGN AN ATHLETE, ONE OF SOMEONE'S ATHLETES. P: Ah MG: YOU GO AFTER ONE WHO COMMITS TO A SCHOOL. P: OK then. MG: YOU DON'T DOWNGRADE HIM BECAUSE HE WENT TO OHIO STATE. P: I haven't yet. MG: YOU LET ME MAKE THAT DESICION. P: But I want to be the dictator of the team. MG: THAT'S WHY I DON'T LOOK AT PEOPLE WHEN I RECRUIT THEM. P: I can't hear you. MG: BECAUSE THEY ARE GARBAGE. P: GASP MG: AND THE PARENTS WHO LET HIM PLAY FOOTBALL, IS GARBAGE P: PLease, at least use correct grammar when you insult me! MG: HACKING A COMPUTER THAT IS DONG EVERYTHING RIGHT. P: I don't understand. MG: THEN YOU WANT TO WRITE ARTICLES ABOUT PLAYERS WHO DON'T DO GOOD AND DOWNGRADE THE PLAYERS WHO DO GOOD. P: 'Tis a sick world, eh? MG: Are you kidding me? PLAYOFFS? P: Wrong coach, coach. MG: WHERE ARE WE AT IN THE SEASON NOW? P: Off season. MG: COME AFTER TP. P: I beg of you. Don't! MG: I'M A MAN. I'M 40 P: I'm 19. I'm a young adult! I thought we could compare ages and see who is older! MG: I'M NOT A KID P: Neither am I! We could travel the country telling people this. MG: WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT TP. P: Will it be good? MG: OR TP'S OTHER TP TP PTPTPTPTPTP. P: Shocking interview. MG: DON'T WRITE ABOUT ME, WHO DOES EVERYTHING RIGHT, AND WHOSE HEART IS FILLED WITH BLOOD P:What an odd remark. MG: AND THEN SAY I THOUGHT HE WAS GOOD? P: You do? MG: THAT'S NOT TRUE P: I see. MG: SO GET YOUR FOOTBALL PLAYING ANTICS STRAIGHT. P: I think I'll leave. MG: I HOPE SOMEDAY YOU HAVE A TP. P: Oh wait. There is still 20 seconds left. Whoops! MG: AND SOMEBODY SAYS HE'S GOOD AND SAYS HE'S MORE GOOD. P: I hope someone does. MG: AND YOU LOOK HIM IN THE EYE AND SAY I'm Mike Gundy's understudy group's leader. P: Why? I have found this interview teh epic failz. MG: SOMETHING ABOUT MATURE. P: OK then. MG: THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY. P: Hmmm. MG: Pryor makes me want to puke. P:Inappropriate. I can't stand that. Better commit to Ohio State. (He leaves with Mike Gundy's exclamation points in his pocket! What a thief!)